Durban: a Diamond in the Rough

I’ve returned to Durban for a bit and to my surprise, I’m having a delightful time. There’s a lot of stigma surrounding South Africa and its current climate, and so I wanted to write a post that was positive and uplifting, reminding myself and you, of why this place is precious.
Disclaimer: As always, these opinions are my own. I will most probably be kicking and screaming to get out again, and I might be blindsided by the short term bliss, but for now I want to capture this moment – because what I feel is real and it deserves some attention.

I’ve heard the sound of music

Since stepping off the plane, I was greeted with sounds of singing. From hardly there humming to uninhibited heavenly harmonies, these people are sincere, unapologetic and carry a child-like sense of the carefree. I’ve come to understand that this musical melody is the heartbeat of the city and its range is ravishing. It’s a refreshing contrast to the stark silence of the tube, the mute stares on the street, or the utter stillness found in my local Sainsburys. Listen to the beat and feel it – it really is so good for the soul.

I’ve felt appreciated

Living in a bustling metropolis, I was just a number, sharing a radius with 8 million other people. I was a very small fish in a huge pond, desperately trying not to get lost in the sea of faces (casting directors, I’m looking at you). In Durban, I’ve felt really valued and noticed. I’ve been smiled at by strangers, waved at by children and even complimented on my outfit by passer-by’s. I’ve been welcomed by waiters and thanked from the bottom of their hearts when I’ve tipped well, and I’ve been able to strike up meaningful conversations with random people in the street. It’s these small things that make a huge difference and what either makes or breaks a city. In being away, I had forgotten how big South African’s smile and I’m so glad I’m back to be reminded of it.

I’ve learnt to slow down

London is busy. I was living a marathon paced life. I walked fast. I worked fast. I ate fast. Days went by in a haze and there simply wasn’t enough time to get through what needed to be done. I ran like hell for the bus in the morning, dodged the masses on the pavement to avoid being trampled, ate my lunch at my desk because too – many – emails. I was living an unsustainable life and simply exhausted by it all. Since being in Durban, I’ve had the luxury of taking a conscious step back for a well needed breather. I’ve appreciated empty sidewalks, I’ve deliberately inhaled the salt air and I’ve made a pact with myself to just absorb more. The world continues when you stop, and it’s a beautiful thing to witness. There really is no rush – we just create it.

I’ve slept so well

Back in Blighty, I was going to bed at around 12.30pm and waking up at 8am. But I’ve experienced a huge shift. I’m now in bed by 9pm and awake at 5.30am. My motto is early to bed and early to rise, because that’s how Durban rolls. There’s nothing better than starting your day in the ocean, surrounded by dolphins and watching the sunrise. It sure beats the dreadful delays of the District line!

I’ve disconnected to connect

My phone and my tech are my life. I have my newsfeed pumping, social media meandering, train routes at the ready. The first thing I ask when heading into a café is for the WIFI code and a table near a plug point. Since being back, I’ve learnt to really disconnect in order to connect. I even leave my phone at home – something I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing (for more than just practical reasons) . My friends don’t use theirs when we’re socialising and it’s such a breath of fresh air. I no longer feel that sense of dread when my powerbank goes flat, or freak out when I haven’t caught up with my IG (aaargh, algorithm). Call me crazy but I think that load shedding can be quite romantic – spending time soaking in the bath surrounded by candles can be damn delightful.

I’ve become a lot more conscious of my health

In London, I’ve spent almost year-round in woolen jumpers and clothed from head to toe. Comfort food was available at the click of an app and delivered to my door in minutes. Gym rang more like a man’s name than a place, because the weather just wasn’t playing ball. It’s no secret that Durban’s culture is the beach and its bodies. It makes sense because the ocean which surrounds the city, defines it. And so, I’ve been catalysed into a healthier routine, where cleaner, leaner food is my preference and a much more active lifestyle, my choice. Did someone say goodbye Heathrow injection?

I’ve witnessed a great sense of camaraderie

I’ve travelled A LOT. I’ve been to numerous countries and explored loads of different cultures, but I must admit, this city has such a sense of comradery, possibly more so than any place I’ve visited. Here is a recent example of that: My dad was walking on the pier, and spotted a new surfer who was in distress, battling the rip and getting more fatigued with each minute that passed. He wanted to get back to shore, but couldn’t. My dad decided to cut his own run short, and shouted over to the surfer, explaining that he needed to paddle towards backline with the rip which would pull him out, move sideways, and catch a foamie to the shore. The surfer was very fatigued, and drowning was a reality. After around 15 minutes of my dad coaching the terrified surfer from the pier and making him feel safe, he found himself out of the current, and managed to stay on his board until he reached the shore. My dad then went to him to make sure he was ok and explained how the rip tide works, along with the motion of the ocean. The surfer was so grateful and appreciative of my dad’s help and kindness, and that he had taken the time to help him.

I once walked around central London for over 4 hours with my dress hiked up above my bottom. I had gone to the loo and didn’t realise the mishap. Not one person had the decency to tell me that my knickers were on display, and so I merrily walked around the capital making a literal ass of myself. In fact, it was a South African woman that had bolted up to me and told me my “broekie and bum was visible”, and could she please help pull my dress down?

I know it’s such a simple thing – but people take the time to talk to each other in Durban and that really is special. It’s a different culture here – warm, open and friendly. Keep looking out for one another and hold on to that genuine human interaction because it’s far too easy to become self absorbed and cut off from what makes life beautiful.

I joke that I am allergic to Durban, because without fail, I always get an ailment when I visit. Whether it’s a heat rash or an insect bite, something ALWAYS happens to me. (Right now I’m really struggling with my gluten and cow’s milk allergy, but I’ll get there). It helps when I return to London, because I am triaged straight to the front of the A&E queue. There’s nothing more terrific than looking at doctor’s face, explaining you feel a bit queasy and you’ve just returned from Africa!

Jokes aside, I know I won’t ever make Durban my permanent home, as I still need different things from a city, but if I am honest with myself, I must admit this place is a diamond in the rough.

If you ever find yourself in South Africa, please don’t skip this gem. Take the time to grace its golden shores, because you won’t be disappointed, and who knows, you may even find you make a few friends along the way!